Everybody feels fear when dealing with something totally new in life, yet many people are out there ‘doing it’ anyway.
This must mean that fear is not the problem. It’s how we deal with fear. How we hold the fear.
For some, they hold their fear from a place of power (their fear gives them choice, energy, and action). For others, it creates a state of shut down and they hold their fear from a place of pain (their fear makes them feel helpless, depressed, and stuck).
The cure for our fear lies in saying ‘yes’.
The phrase ‘say yes’ means ‘to agree to’ those things that life hands to us. Saying yes means not struggling against, but letting in the opportunities of seeing the world in new ways.
On the other hand, saying no means to be a victim. ‘How could this happen to me!’
Saying no means to block, to fight, to struggle against opportunities for growth and challenge. Saying no creates tension, tiredness, wasted energy, upset feelings, – or, worse, it creates a lack of caring.
Say yes to life. Join in. Move. Act. Write. Read. Stand up. Take a stand.
Or do whatever works for you.
Get involved in the process.
Become what you want to attract.
Be the kind of person you want to surround yourself with.
Be the change you want to see in others…
…and embrace FEAR in the process.
We ALL know it. Many of us don't see it coming. And when we find ourselves there, most of us don't know what to do.
I'm talking about a Relationship, and what happens in, and with, it over time.
I think we all, in theory, can agree that a relatioship isn't static. It's a "living organism" that transition and changes over time. And like all other living organismes it needs to be fed, nurtured and loved to survive.
But do we treat our relationship with, for example, our spouse with that same respect we treat a professional relationship at work? Adopting, like we do to the changes of the market, the industry, the company and the team we work with?
Very often we believe that the person we married, live with, love and respect won't change over time but rather remain the same person we once fell in love with. That's static thinking. That's not a "living organism" but a stale, predictable and in the long run "dead" way of being in a relationship.
So what to do about it?
To start with, treat your love relationship like the living organism it is. Feed it, nurture and love it. Show emotions. Don't hide behind a mask of ignorance, laziness, taking the relationship for granted. Work on it, as if its survival depended on you fighting every day to protect it.
A relationship is a transition. It's a journey. It's evolving and changing over time. So "get ready 4 change". Have the life you want by getting to know more about your spouse, your relationship, and, most importanly but too often forgotten...get to know yourself...and get ready 4 change.
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It's important to remember that it is an exciting time for your student. While your life at home may become quieter with their absence, students' lives at college are about to become a lot fuller, especially during the orientation period before the reality of studies, social pressure and a touch of home sickness kicks in.
A transition to college leaves a huge hole in the daily life of the parents. It is us parents who are challenged almost as much as the young adults we are sending away, saying goodbye to, not having around in what may now feel an "empty" house. It suddenly change the daily routines we lived with for 18 years. And if we have more than one child it's the first and last to send away to college that are the hardest transitions to cope with.
It helps to recognize that this isn't a permanent goodbye and that both we, as parents, and the young adult we are sending away to this new adventure in life called "independence", have been prepared for...actually lived with over the last couple of years when researching, visiting and applying for the college he/she now is off to.
There is a wide range of emotions students and parents may feel on this day: anxiety, sadness, a sense of being overwhelmed, joy—are all normal and part of the process.
What is the single most important thing a parent should do at this time to benefit their student?
Send the message that you know that this will be an exciting time for your student and that you have confidence that he or she will ably handle the challenges that come with being a college student and with being away from home.
What should parents do to help make this transition go smoothly?
How do you as parent deal with the "empty nest" feelings you no doubt will experience once you arrive home after dropping off your child? Does it change your relationship with your spouse? Do you need to change in order to adjust, become involved in other things now when your child's everyday presence and experiences are no longer available for you to experience and for them to share? Is it time to reflect on who you are, what you value and what your passion and purpose is now when one of your role as a parent suddenly, and dramatically, has changed?
Contact me. Get the help you need. Sign up for my 5-step transition signature program and get ready 4 change! www.coachlars.comI
What does life transition mean and what would better managing them entail?
Let's take a pivotal period in life - transitioning into retirement or semi-retirement. One of the things to look at, as in any transition, is the help needed to build resilience and skills in an individual facing this life changing transition.
Planning, preparing and preventing are three key words that first come to mind, and with a help of a coach you can enter into this new phase of your life confident and with more ease.
During any transition you hit barriers, road blocks, that have prevented you to succeed in the past. One is a behavioral barrier - the way we relate to others. Loneliness, for example, which so significantly impacts health later in life, is one important barrier you may face. Without the support of a partner, peers, family, friend, neighbors, an individual might find it considerably harder to face significant life changes.
On the other hand, reduced independence might prove detrimental because it can diminish the individual's sense of control of his or her own destiny.
Attitudes also play a pivotal role in any transition. How we choose to enter into a transition. To capitalize on the lessons learnt from their own past experiences (or other's) the individual is given a platform from where to better prepare for future difficult transitions. The challenge is that it may not be obvious how to do this and guidance from a coach could prove pivotal to the success of the change...to de-traumatize the transition.
Instead of fearing change, embrace it and instigate a change in perception from one of loss and hopelessness, to one focused on assets that builds resilience.
Other barriers are related to family and social networks, and how to best "intervene" to put you back on track on your journey - your transition - into retirement.
These are a just a few of the challenges/barriers you'll face in a transition but they give you an idea of what to expect if you choose not to plan, prepare and prevent. i.e. entering into the transition kind of blindfolded.
If you like to get help with a transition like this or any other transition you are facing in life, please get in touch with me to discuss how I can be of help.